Diary of the Day

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Literature Fairy - Thank you for the visit and the great comment. Your own writing and style are all you need to focus upon. And I appreciate your following me! Hugs!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

My dear Dave. WOW, that boggles my mind, that you will ponder my words! Thank you for coming and leaving your delightful comments. Big ole Texas hug to you and yours. . .

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Capedium - I'm so pleased that you visited my Hub site and left a great comment. I welcome you to HubPages and am reading some of your work, too. You obviously have much feeling and a desire to write poetry. Very good. Welcome aboard!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Storytellersrus, I'm most honored that you read my work to your M-I-L in the hospital (but sorry to hear that she is in there!). I'm pleased with her comment, too. Thank her for me, please - and thank you for building a lovely human bridge among two strangers! I love that.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Dallas - I'm smiling. And, truth be told, I also need my tonic of words and creativity as I always have needed them at each phase of it. I'm never idle or still, EVER, but at times busy-ness & business would inundate me if I couldn't - of just DIDN'T - pause for wired & creative tonic. It keeps me sane, I think.

I tend to do everything so thoroughly that I've simply developed a system for tending to the busyness stuff so that it doesn't absorb too much of my life force: I procrastinate & push it into a smaller, quicker (last-minute) time-frame, which makes me work at it with focus and efficiency and requires eliminating lots of the 'fine-tuning' which it doesn't deserve! hehe.

Today I was supposed to have driven to Sherman (about 100 miles north of where I am) for an important business conference involving my ranch. This requires some preparation, documents I need to bring, etc. I was working on it yesterday, but our flood-tide deluge provided an excuse to postpone the trip till tomorrow.

At that point I immediately dropped those details & came here to finish this hub instead! I was up till 4AM doing it, but it deserved it!

Now I have just a few hours to get onto that business project & be ready for tomorrow.

So far today, I've talked to a dear friend 2 hours on the phone (her husband is deep into dementia and she is starved for some actual conversation, so I am always available for her & vice versa). I've tended to household duties, including my own food & stuff (no wife here to help me out with Tiresome Details of Living which I grudgingly but routinely do schedule into my days), I've written quite a few email replies & hub comments/ replies. I tidied up some dangling participles on this hub and the previous one. Now I'm ready to march myself upstairs to do what I must about that business stuff and get it over with! I'm glad for an equal right/left brain balance so that can apply the left to that task, with it's measly 49%. haha As my dear mother sometimes said, "It's a great life if you don't weaken!" Uh HUH.

All of which to say that I appreciate your comment and agree with its premise! Thank you, dear friend! Big hugs! And he-e-e-r-e I GO upstairs before it's too dark to do that stuff. hehe (It's never to dark to do this stuff! George would call it a matter of priorities. Yep. At this age, they have yielded a bit!)

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Capedium - and thank you!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Dallas, you've said in very similar words, but from your own perspective, what I've said for so many years. I love your "life is what we do while we make plans." So MANY of my poems say that very thing. The ranch has served my direct purposes all my life. Now I am finding another purpose for it and for me.

Aware and alert, indeed!

I've espoused "subjective reality" - a term with which I identified it, for so many years. I've explained it in various ways and yours is similar and excellent. In addition to the experiences, exposures and other influences over a lifetime which affect a person and make each person's subjective reality different from every other person's, there are also more internal influences of actual sensory perceptivity, creativity, intelligence, ethnic reality, gender, longevity & the personality responses to the person's outward experiences. So of course, each subjective reality - which is the only reality to which each person actually has access, IS the person's whole concept of 'reality'; ie: subjective.

I can almost pinpoint when I realized that my own was as good - and more reliable for ME than anyone else's can be and realized that each other person has only his or her own perception on which to rely. How silly to attempt to adopt it as one's own! It is never "there" when one needs it. It's always fuzzy (even for the other person, it will be changing as it responds to that person's experiences), so it will lalways lack foundations for me if I try to apply and use it..

When I began to trust my own, I was incredibly released to BE and to become. I could even see that my best before understanding it had always been times I relied on my own ability to see and respond as myself in spite of strong pressure not to do so.

And it did/does have inevitable results for my perceptions of religion, science, politics, - all the things which humans build and endow with their own subjective realities as though those were universally decreed, objective and true. Not necessarily so.

Clarity can be added to awareness and alertness as a valuable tool of perceptivity. And they all must begin with a bright light of honesty on oneself and one's own perception, being able to give it due where it's true and to sift out delusion where it's found within. Leaves much less time for one's resolving others' plusses and minuses! :-)

Thanks for a great comment. You are clear!

PS - Thinking out loud is good!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Mary - Thank you for that high praise! I appreciate that you enjoy my work more than I can say. How wonderful that we can behold & enjoy each other's special work, which enriches both giver and receiver of the attention.

I hope you don't envy it, though. I believe each of us has a unique gift to share in our own ways - and each valuable in its own right. We should never feel we need to be like anyone else! Just enjoy what you do and you do it well! Hugs.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Something else we share in common: Abraham Maslow. I became a student of his work on my own, back in the late 1960s and early 1970s and his ideas have become internalized parts of my own background, along with some other noble thinkers' - including Carl Rogers, whom I discovered about the same time as Maslow!

Self-actualization is a worthy ideal and perhaps I'm moving toward it. I seem always to have sought 'being', but each ring on the tree is an amazing odyssey of real living and I've many more rings to go.

That was a lovely metaphor, Dallas. Thank you.

My meeting today was quite productive and satisfying. I'm tickled to be back from the drive!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Kaltopsyd, I'm delighted to see you back in the fold! I just visited your profile and that darling hub about your love of children and it makes me all the more pleased that you like my poetry! Your writing and your heart ring true.

Thank you.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Dear Martie - thank you! My morning is now jump-started! :-)

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Ah, yes, he surely was one of the first to focus on healthy rather than pathological, wasn't he, dear lady? No wonder I was attracted to him. By nature, I tend to be a preventative person in most areas. Probably because once I'm into something, I am in it for the duration or till it knocks me down! I learn from those and become better informed next time while in the prevention phase! Life is good.

And that is so true that giving birth is a high peak experience in being oneself and sharing it with another human being. Love that. Thank you.

In fact, thank you especially for your wise and knowledgeable words each time you comment. I treasure it. Hugs!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

It's been too long since I've seen you, Robert. I'm honored and pleased that you're visiting now, and with such lovely comments. Thank you! Glad you like it.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Oh, thank you, Christopher! Yes, that's my handwriting, the same handwriting in which every poem has been written. Thank you. Those poems were composed and written directly in that book during the past few years when my hand has become a bit sloppier than it used to be! Remember when we had to practice the Os and /s in school to improve our handwriting? :-) Oh, I'll bet you're too young to remember that ritual!

I went through a period in my teens of writing backhand and made sure that every character was exactly the same height and that their spacing was in sync. Then I reverted back to my natural forward slant and retained that consistency. It wasn't a very conscious effort, but those Os and /s had been internalized. Guess there is something to the 'rote' method of learning and establishing a habit!

I would have loved to learn calligraphy. So you've made me pleased. Might still do it.

My Dad was meticulous and had excellent handwriting, but he referred to Mother's as "the squiggly line". haha. She was always quick in whatever she did and eager to get on to the next project, so she conserved & didn't waste a lot of time on her handwriting. Too bad she didn't have word processing. She'd surely have typed 100 words a minute!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Dear Snakeskin, thank you. I'm always surprised by that praise, though admit that they are soothing and sweet, because I recall that so many were written during a harrowing time of my life at least partly for the purpose of soothing me and of reminding me that my soul was sweeter and stronger than to be poisoned by others and by the experience I was enduring. They served as a record to which I could refer as needed to be comforted and reassured that I was still alive 'in there' and that 'this too shall pass'.

Even now, the messages of the poems of those times would be less meaningful, at least to me, without realizing that, I think. It might have been that I'd have written mournfully or bitterly then. But I wasn't writing to preserve the reality of my surroundings, but the reality of my spirit, mind and innards in spite of those.

What pleases me now, though, is to discover that they still do sooth, comfort and help keep me integrated; and that your response to them validates their power to do so, even for someone else. At the time it didn't often, if ever, occur to me that they might have meaning or serve purpose for anyone else; perhaps because my need for that was so urgent then. Enabled me to emerge from the ordeals almost intact.

I love the songs by Ute Lemper, too. Just discovered her.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

SnakesLANE - ohmygosh! It was a slip. Maybe having a car fender bender bent my head, too! However, I regard snakes' skins as quite esthetically beautiful, though I'm not fond of their personalities. It's an interesting slip, for sure.

My poetry of that time seems to stand on its own through time, for which I'm thankful. It came from my sense of the essence of life and not from the life situation in which I happened to be. Writing it down did provide a sort of proof of who I am and what I perceive, though, when the situation might have overwhelmed me, as was surely the intention of my ex.

Stress was surely a motivator to capture those thoughts and record them, but it didn't really cause their being conceived. They were the fruits of my own inner life's development up till and at the time, as well as my sense of a better personal reality than was transpiring. The actual situation then gave them more impetus to be expressed, as I was aware at the time: so I could refer to them to reassure myself of my own relatively unimpaired existence and selectively to record the lovely things in my everyday life. They really were my personal diary. By rereading them, I could always recall the events in progress when I wrote one of them, but no one else would be able to, which was my protection. Even so, at times, I suppose 'just in case' he hadn't fully snared all my private thoughts enough, my ex, who demanded I share my every thought with him and demanded to read my current poems, would decide they had to be destroyed and so would stage a ritual burning of them which I was required to attend & to seem to condone. I learned quickly to keep backups hidden. There were no computers, so it meant writing them out in duplicate, and there were always many new ones. So it was an actual challenge to keep ME backed up as that situation worsened.

I have found that when external circumstances are more pleasant and peaceful, as they've become & been for me for many more years than when they weren't, I tend to dwell on & to internaize the circumstances themselves more directly and so, I may write less, - if that makes any sense. But I do continually write. I'm impelled to from within, though it seems it is less pressing & so less prolific than during those extremely stressful years. Now I am sure I exist; don't have to write it to hang on to the awareness of it. I'm free to write because and when it just bubbles up from within.

Many of the poems I present in my hubs are the more current ones, by the way. I can't help but notice that they're not so very different in their messages; they continue to express my innards along with more recent events. That is the subtle meaningfulness: being aware that the older ones expressed it even when things were awful and the newer ones express it when things have been good for me for many years since then. It pleases me to realize I always existed with a degree of clarity, no matter what. I can't consider it a midas touch when it's just plain ole me. :-) I like to think it's the honesty, which was imperative if it was to serve its purpose. Perhaps that makes it relatable to others. I couldn't have written it for that purpose, though.

Yes - I notice how much Ute Lemper resembles Marlene Diertrich. She's also German, of course. Her range of emotion is broad.Some of her musical renditions sound throaty and mysterious, like Marlene's. But these on the hub seem to me sweeter and more wistful or plaintive. I'm pleased that you like her too!

I'm officially 80 as of yesterday! woo hoo!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Ah yes, Snakes. I'm glad I did that too, though at the time it was more like protecting my existence. Maybe that's a prime motive of all true artists? We are always documenting our existence with our artistic endeavors; - and of course, we want to protect it and them. Interesting thought! Thanks, - something on which to ruminate while I'm without transportation. Thank you for the good birthday wishes, too.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Dallas, I have much admiration for your mother! She's great looking and vibrant! I sing around the house but haven't done a lot of dancing lately, though sometimes my walking resembles dancing, especially if I'm listening to tunes on my ipod - or in my head, for that matter. I do hear music wherever I am!

My reality is usually tranquil & serene, which I prefer, plus it provides emotional perspective for times it gets bumpy and wild, such as when a car crashes into my car, as happened last Saturday. The cars weren't the test of my tranquilly so much as the other driver! Now I'm without transportation while it's being fixed (my car, not the other driver, whom I wish well. She is from Ethiopia, which complicated communication a bit).

The body shop thinks they'll have it done by Wednesday. Had all the folderol to file the insurance claim, getting an estimate, deciding where to take it, etc. Got it to the shop last Wed. but they found additional damage when they got the bumper and grill off. So another adjuster had to inspect & approve that. It's underway now. A bit over $3000 damage to it. Could be so much worse. No injuries and both cars were drivable, once the lady was convinced that no police were going to come out and handle it. We were there at the scene about 2 or more hours on a chilly windy day. Had to enlist the convincing voice of a neighbor from Ireland to finally convince her that we'd be there from then on if she waited for the police, who don't service such accidents as it was.

I'd have been more alert & aware had she not failed to yield from the dead-end street she pulled onto just as I was passing by on my through street. But I still feel badly that I didn't have a chance to avoid it. Poor thing was so distraught. I felt worse for her than for me.

Hugs!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Mike, dear friend. What fun! I love picnics at open-air concerts & we close-knit group of Hubsters do seem to exchange conjuries* of great-good fun writing concerts we share! Thank you much! I appreciate your attending mine!

*Is that a word? Prolly not but it should be. Where oh where is the noun for the result of the verb, 'conjure' - which my pesky spell check tries to insist on placing here instead of my cleverly coined noun?

ps - And thank you for the birthday well-wishes, too! I'm milking it for all its worth!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Oh, dear, Dallas. Your mom really narrowly escaped some possibly serious issues if the car hadn't been able to hobble all the way home & she was in heavy traffic or something if it had suddenly quit. Whew. I'm so glad she's ok. Not glad about the cost of it. Cars are so persnickety nowadays that it seems to cost more in repairs than a new one cost not all that long ago! I'm sure my parents must've paid no more than a few hundred for their new Ford sedans & pickups in the 40s & 50s.

I paid $2100 for a brand-new snappy 1972 automatic-shift VW bug that same year when I first learned to drive! Drove it home from the dealership & up the steep, narrow road winding up "The Knobs" & managed ok. First time I'd ever driven alone & then, only after sharing a drivers' ed course with a bunch of high-schoolers at summer school. None of us had logged up much mileage in the class situation. So that first sojourn was a plunge-in-&-just-do-it situation after I got my drivers' license & managed to get a cab across the Ohio River to Louisville & out to its outskirts to pick up the car I'd ordered over the phone & then to drive it back to that farm atop The Knobs where I'd spent the last 7 years of a disastrous 18-yr. marriage. This was the same day as the divorce became final. The next day I moved whatever of my belonging I could to Louisville in the car to begin a brave new odyssey & different life. I chose to stay up there for the next year, in hopes of reconciliation with my children. It was a supremely alone year - holidays and all.

I'm a good multi-tasker, but never, ever when I'm driving. I won't even look over at the passenger if I have one, because that's my 'bad' side. Lacking depth perception & using my highly honed compensation skills of a lifetime takes every ounce of my concentration when driving. If my cell phone rings or clicks, I ignore it till I'm able to safely get out of traffic & STOPPED. Otherwise, it must wait till I'm safely home & at least in my driveway. I just do NOT use my phone while driving, not even for driving directions. I study any needed directions before leaving the house. I don't have built-in GPS but not sure I could/would even glance at it while driving.

I've been driving since I was 40 & have had only a couple of accidents, either very minor or where I was not at fault. I think the last one, a minor scrape in a mall parking lot, was about 20 years ago. I'm a capable driver & enter freeways & change lanes expertly & I don't poke along like a granny, but I know my limitations & abide by them. When I learned to drive in Indiana, the speed limit on the highways was 70mph. I had trouble adjusting to 50 which it was in Texas when I drove home from Indiana. The most mileage I'd ever accumulated on a single trip prior to that was on a trip of 100 each way to Cincinnati. The trip home the next weekend was about 1500 miles on a very busy N-S highway in 1973 & it rained most of the way, with numerous 18 wheelers on the road. I just took my fear in tow & thought of it as 100 miles at a time x 15. And I rammed the accelerator past those trucks to keep out of their blinding spray. Somehow I made it safely.

I have monocular vision. But I've driven many miles over the years. The round trip to the ranch is about 1000 miles and I often drove it when we took two vehicles down there. But for other reasons, (it's so close to the Mexican border and so isolated) I haven't driven down there on my own since before George died about 4 years ago. Not only is the ranch isolated, but most of the roads getting there are isolated, too, growing more so as one nears the ranch.

I'm still fearless, but realistic. I really do intend to live to 100, so there are considerations meriting wise attention! Haven't made a multi-hundred mile trip in awhile. I'm sure you mother is up to it, though. and hopefully the road course is well populated.

I did drive myself to Sherman - a 140 mile round trip - Friday before the accident. Went there to talk to some guys about managing some of the ranch aspects. While there, though, dropped my titanium glasses & stepped on them. They were still ok but a bit bent. Luckily the bend was on the 'bad eye' side so it made minimal different in my actual vision. But it really looked odd! Even so, I used my sunglasses on the road till I got them straightened. I was on my way that next morning to have them straightened when the accident happened. Then I proceeded to that destination.

Life is never a secure system; otherwise it wouldn't be LIFE. :-)

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

It's a poignant story, Dallas. Somehow I can envision the history of your family producing the verve and the ability to embrace life in your mother and a somewhat more conservative, yet eager to be able to flow with life in her sister. They seem quite different, though, from what I hear about them from you. Your mother seems so much her own person and able to take life in stride and with aplomb, while your aunt may be more apt to step back and less resilient, to borrow your word. Each sounds so interesting as the persons they are!

I love that word 'serendipity'. It suggests both fun and wisdom. It's almost one of those onomatopoeia words. In your mother's case, I'm glad her trip and her embrace of life are serendipitous.

As I've mentioned, I started first grade at 4 & a half so I'd always been a couple of years younger than my classmates, and so, my ostensible 'peers' & I have usually been actually at different levels of development & points in our sojourns - & so, a little different. Especially in one's youngest years, differences in a couple of years are pronounced & produce noticeable impressions & skills. Add dramatic age differences with siblings, and one's actual age becomes both more blurred and clearer, as perceived by self and the others involved.

However, a consequence of it for me has been that I'm as much at home with any other age-group as my own - whatever it is, while always at least a bit out of step. I think of it in a way as agelessness and in another way as being a bit of an alien ever matriculating in an slightly alien environment. Yet it's so natural for me, never having really belonged in a certain age-group, that it's simply a quality of my own subjective reality, which I can understand and which provides me ample wiggle-room to both ponder and to easily grow my own way.

Now that I'm In the general category of "senior citizen", I've friends who've never even owned a CD player, much less a computer, who've never honestly felt free to march to their own drummers, spread their wings or to consider radial thinking about 'far-out' possibilities without feeling their foundations threatened or attacked by it. Their comfort zone seems amazingly fixed & confined, from my perspective.

While I can easily share many of their interests and understand their viewpoints, having 'been there' from whence they've been and arrived at where they are physically in time, give or take the results of various factors, I suspect they surely must view some of mine, if at all, with uneasy reservations, alarm, and a colossal lack of comprehension. So I neither expect or require it. If it happens to be forthcoming, it's a treat and a bonus. Actually a basic characteristic of who I am doesn't expect or require being fully understood, (much as I'd enjoy it and try to make it as clear as I can) nor to be an exact fit & part of the gang, but neither does it resist or resent its presence and reality. That too is interesting and often it's even lovable.

Generally "people of a certain age" (my general chronological age) are quite conservative and traditional; or if & when they decide to venture forth, it's often as a cohesive group with officers & group rules - and sometimes even with an identifying kind of uniform manner of dressing, rather than simply evolving as who they are individually & expressing personal senses of style. So breakiing free often is being done in in a manner which further conforms & clings to each other, and therefore it almost exactly then identifies and defines their chronological ages and positions rather than expressing each of their individuality & personally developed ideas & outlooks. But it suits them and - there it is.

I can move among them easily & blend in comfortably, because of some common experiences & my natural interest in people and their differences, (plus silver hair), but it's somewhat amusing and sad to behold that tendency to band together & stay within group-mandated bounds. And I may possibly be less comfortable for them, even with my silver hair.

On the other hand, younger folks sometimes seem to seek a similar kind of group identification which often squelches true individuality and independent thought, as well. But generally their group identity itself is less conservative and regimented, though in a way it seems more demanding and restricting within its bounds and in its own group's way or else it means to be shunned and categorized as 'out of it'. So it is 'their way or the highway'.

Perhaps it is a primordial trait of homo sapiens to either flock together or to become excommunicated misfits. I simply feel free of either category for myself. I discovered along the way that I have that right. I even knew it when I conformed for my higher purposes than not to.

As you conclude, and I agree, we all do the best we can with what we're dealt and what we bring to it as persons as we handle the potholes we encounter and the victories we experience, both of them with our best personal resources at hand. I find it all fascinating, exciting, & pregnant with both traps and dangers, as well as almost limitless opportunities for growth and even, perhaps, with paths toward enlightenment, which I regard as being quite possible consequences of meeting both challenges and successes with equanimity and with joy.

So chugging along from day to day, rising to whatever practical, creative or inspirational resurgence as present themselves; & pausing to ponder and enjoy the stream and parade of life and the beauties of nature are fulfilling and exhilarating, potholes and all!

To quote my own darling vibrant little mother, "It's a great life if you don't weaken" (which she never did) and to quote my wise father, "Know your limitations and reach toward your heights". Each had a grasp of what it's 'all about, Alfie', I think.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Oh, Jaye, my perceptive, talented colleague - thank you. I love that compliment! You've brought a smile to my face.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Precious Kay. I think it's a form of diarrhea of the written word from which I suffer. . hehe. Thank you so much for putting up with it and liking it too!

(It can take me all night, too, especially when it includes editing and fixing my numerous typos and errors!)

Hugs.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Hugs.

JAYE! You do me honor by reading the comments. Sometimes I really get carried away and write virtual hubs in my replies. I should collect them to put into my memoirs Others' comments are so inspiring! It becomes delightful discourse of sorts. :-)

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

htodd - I truly appreciate your visiting my hub and leaving an encouraging comment. Thank you! I was impelled to follow and to fan you. Heaven knows, I can use your expertise and thoroughly enjoy the excellence of your writing skill. I'd love to see more folks discovering what a treasure it is! Don't hesitate to give me constructive criticism.

I won't promise to change my style (even if I could or if it may seem wise) but I"m ever open to editing of my grammar or spelling, though there than some errors which are part of said style, such as overuse of dashes.

I've great respect for good grammar and spelling and prefer to correct goofs I discover it in my self-editing. I don't always do so, I'm well aware! I would not like to impose, however. I simply want to say that I would value and appreciate your suggestions, if you're ever so inclined.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Dallas, I'm smiling at those comments. You are truly perceptive & express it so enjoyably. Also I could visualize myself playing with my yarn needles except that my one or two knitting tries at a young age didn't grab my interest the way the emergence of an early gripping talent for and interest in design and construction of clothing.

What most interested me was learning to make outstandingly well-constructed beautiful things on the sewing machine or sometimes by hand, always featuring precise seams and classic or original design effects. I suppose my sewing needles are ageless, too, but my only stitchery needles were my mother's which, alas, I didn't use! hehe.

Mother did all those stitchery things, as well as sewing beautifully. The only flaw in her clothing projects was that she had minimal sense of fitting them to the human body. I've laughed and thought she had to have invented "the sack dress" long before it emerged as the latest vogue in the next decade. I never liked it!

Proper fit may have been a motive for being precise about my sewing techniques when I began designing and making them at age 13. Unlike some moms whose sewing skill is excellent, she didn't criticize or interfere with my learning process. She demonstrated by doing, as she often did for all teaching. She left it up to me to observe and seek to learn. She totally supported my projects which boosted my self-confidence to discover a tangible talent for design & sewing just when my self-image was a bit rickety!

Thank you for a delightful response and for this trip down memory lane for me, my friend!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

OOOOO, I'm blushing, ahorseback. Surely beauty IS in the eye of the beholder when the perceptive beholder's subjective response is stirred at a high level, as in:

"When you see it

you know it".

That is what I think of as 'beholding' something. It's beyond studying it or judging it by rules or standards. It's far lovelier and more appreciated. Thank you. : -)

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Dear suni - I'm certain that he/she is delighted that your read his/her hubs and that you've returned to join all of us on HP!

You are obviously more aware of any earlier childish behavior than I am, in any case. No matter, you are always welcome and a pleasure to know. Just promise you won't ever outgrow your charm or those wonderful write-ups of your travels around your beautiful country!

I appreciate your new hubs, too. Lots of serious thought and some good humor in them.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

agaglia - (I just discovered that you're named Annette. I was almost named Annelle.)! I've just come from visiting your hubsite and reading one of your lovely poetry hubs. I'll be returning to read more of your works, too.

I smiled when I read in you profile that you had to branch out into writing essays, perhaps because you had latent verbosity. I certainly share that tendency. I've giggled upon realizing it's my best clue whether what I've written is poetry or prose: - the amount of brevity vs. verbosity!

Thank you for the visit and lovely comments! And thanks for noticing & missing me. I've had company, been on a short trip, and then had a fender-bender with the car, which is being repaired; - tiresome details of living keeping me away more than usual!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Dear Dallas, hm-m-m- You sure you'd want to delve that much into this odd mind of mine? :-) And am I sure it's wise? hm-m-m-. :-]

Bits & pieces of explanation have frequently spontaneously emerged & come forth in my hubs & comments; but like the poems, themselves, they don't attempt a thorough explanation, such as your questions need. They just pour forth as they fit or fulfill a moment & opportunity.

I've never attempted to encapsulate my whole process or its inspiration or the body of my consistent but radial & subcutaneous motivation. I do think about, feel & know it, but haven't needed to try communicating it so it is both accurate & clear for anyone else, - as a whole process, especially.

I'm flattered that you seem to honestly want to explore it, but you may not know what you'd be getting into! Ive just attempted an explanation in response to your questioning, but that draft it unleashed prompts me to recognize that I'd need to do a more compact & lucid work on the draft, which is obviously too many, too self-conscious & subjective words to post 'as is', though it's actually pretty Interesting & totally true. Thank you for jostling me. I see that even this non-explanation tends to be "too, too"- even for a separate article. groan - haha.

Hugs.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Sunnie - thank you for such a gratifying comment, to which I give my admiration for the lovel wording and communication of your lovely spirit!

I soo o o o relate to the feeling of wanting and needing to read more of the hubs! At times I really get into that and love it, but it can tend to absorb all the hub-time one can afford, especially since there are other 'real life' pursuits at the same time. So I tend to be grateful when I'm afforded comments and understanding when not! I must forgive myself & to be forgiven for my incomplete followup on other's hubs at times!

We come here primarily to write and then discover how much more there is to it, as we meet and relate to kindred spirits and shimmering talents. Even as I say that, my mind is downpouring names and personalities, talents and works that I wouldn't want to miss for anything. But sometimes we must just give ourselves room to move at our own paces and do what is POSSIBLE! Thank you for giving me this attention and for wanting to! Hugs!

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Oh, Dallas, I don't quite know. I hesitate to urge because I'm selfish in wanting spontaneous responses to what I try to share, which urging always overshadows.

Personal growth seems inevitable, however it's approached. I wouldn't even do any of it otherwise. Writing has been such a companion, confidant and therapist for me for so long that it just naturally contributes to personal growth as a by-product; my purposes have been & continue being fulfillment of what and who I am. It inspires me to share when it seems of value with whom I've shared, whether or not they even notice or acknowlege. I simply sense when it may have enough value to share.

I'm not especially modest about it, not out of conceit so much as a kind of secure awareness of self-actualization which I hope for everyone. Dwelling too much on my efforts to share it other than to fulfill my own self-expression and possibly serve others seems redundant, once I've done all that is involved in the sharing and am satisfied with it. I tend to prefer demonstration rather than analysis of creative effort.

By the way, I just published a hub I'd been working on and was close to publishing before I read your query here. I'm amazed that it fits so well. See what you think when you get a moment.

Hugs and many thanks.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Dream On - Thank you, my friend. I appreciate your kind comments so much! I have to admit that my followers and the many great & lively comments please me fantastically! You all keep me going!

You don't have to be careful. You're one of my favorite people! You know how to point folks in posititive-thinking directions. Hugs! I had a pleasant Valentine's Day. It's one of my favorite holidays, in fact.

Nellieanna Hub Author 3 months ago

Heart Felt Book - thank you! How nice to hear that I'm missed. But look how much you're getting accomplished! Wow.

Nellieanna Hub Author 2 months ago

Dear Ken/Vincent - I feel like I've hit the jackpot with comments from you on my latest hubs! And, of course, they are such lovely comments and make me feel like a real poet! You've taken time and given detailed attention to my poems. I love that! Hugs and many thanks.