SWEET BITTERSWEET NOSTALGIA
69
Nostalgia is ageless and genderless. We've all experienced it.
For me, certain music seems to stir it in my soul. Each of the songs featured here falls into an associated mood-setting category for me, some stirring the more sweet feelings and some, the more bittersweet; some more first-hand, some more vicarious. Those songs are intrinsic to this subject which revolves around feelings, so several of them are included for your pleasure, along with some of my own poems for capturing those moments. N-Joy!
I treasure all my feelings among 'my favorite things'. I can think of nothing more static and sterile than to be deprived of honest feelings from anywhere along one end of their spectrum to its other! Though there's some regret mixed into them, feelings are part of being fully alive, outshining regret; not to suggest that negative feelings are less useful and valuable as they're being experienced 'now' or being remembered later. No! Besides their own values, they emphasize our positive feelings' values.
To fully experience feelings in their own moment and let them go when it passes allows the flow of life to bring us all its experiences and surprises, which we could never "order up", even were that an option. This process allows and arouses feelings and responses which fit the flow of experience when allowed to freely flow. Gracefully allowing it requires embracing of life without denying, overdoing or minimizing the feelings it stirs, but in simply allowing them to be, real and honest, in their time. Then releasing those when their time passes and they're 'over' is a prime secret of freeing and permitting oneself to move on into ongoing life and responses to its amazing spectrum. In its way, this is the "fountain of youth'. Of course, enduring feelings and those connections which are truly lasting recur with each moment in which they abide, like our breaths and heartbeats, needing neither to be forced, demanded or caged. In fact, they cannot be, if they are healthy and authentic. To attempt to is to become as rigid and fixed as those sad attempts to control or capture life's flow.
A dammed up river
Is no longer
A living river.
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
Remembering is a way to experience them again, though. It's one of our human privileges to be able to experience the present with all our being and awareness, even including sometimes choosing to invest it in selecting preferred memories to fill a present awareness we are living or even to dream to use it considering a possible future; but that is simply what those are: mere shadows, memories and dreams, not the real, living, changing present itself. We've merely used some of that living moment in pondering the past or future, but we cannot really relive or prelive our lives. We need to keep that in mind and not mistake the difference. To have reality we must live it now, here and as it flows. Without it, we merely shadow-box Grasping the real of the now is the greatest of any living entity's privileges. Then how we imbue and embrace it is what enriches or impoverishes experience for us, whatever else it may seem.
It helps if we've learned to appreciate, trust and value the reality that is ours to invest, rather than to fight, deny and hide from it. There is no room for self-deception. So, if you've braved meandering this far with me, come on and let's stroll further together, aware that it is simply each of our choices for this now if we make it so. I won't promise it is easy - especially that self-honesty part, but it is infinitely simple. Besides, you get to choose what to look into and to ask yourself. I have my own challenges here.
Where light fills
All the space
There is no place
For shadows.
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
It casts no shadow,
Leaves no trace.
It is the moment,
Fully lived.
Eternity,
Surpassing
Time and space.
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
We may
Overdo it
Or under-do it,
Too bad
We simply
Cannot - will not -
Do it!
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
Once Upon A Time ~ Jack Jones
"Once Upon A Time" always used to make me cry for the girl I knew as myself - 'once upon a time'. The sense of loss came over me during a trying time when I'd almost lost her and thought perhaps it was already too late to reclaim her. Life's flow had other plans, though, ~ happily.
It still touches that string in my heart to hear it. I vividly recall myself feverishly writing this in response to those poignant feelings at that moment of hearing it for the first time:
Echoes of Life
Elusive dreams - perfections
Approach reality,
Only to subside too soon.
Perfect love, the dream of dreams,
Its after-image, left behind,
Itself, now-near -
Now -far again,
Now, crest, - now-fall,
Though best, and nearest
To unfolding -
and-dearest. . .
Oh! Could it ever be?
Or - do I dream in vain
As others do?
Is truth a hollow promise
And love, an empty shell
That I should let them go?
NO!
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
Yes, moonlight did return to my eyes. I found the responsive
hand to slip mine into - or it found mine. . . . . Yes. . . .!
I can't promise dry eyes if you do tag along this somewhat emotional path with me. In fact, I don't intend to shield either of us from it here, because it provides the chance to FEEL our present feelings with both emotional clarity and common sense, being aware that to feel and to observe oneself feeling is enormously freeing as it releases fullest wholeness.
I understand, though, if you decline. I'll never even know.
There is no escaping it.
What's here is here,
Though non-admitted.
And there is
Something here
Which may not be
Denied.
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
~ The Very Thought Of You ~ Harry Connick Jr.
I wonder now
If I could go back
To where I was before you
Or - if possible
How would it be?
Because -
If I should go back -
We've changed.
I've changed;
I'd be myself as I am now,
Not then.
I feel my changes, - good.
Yes, your world added its dimension.
But all is blended,
All's anew, somehow.
So when you go, -
As go you must, -
Now that it's ended,
I'll miss you.
And that, I cannot change.
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
Life Is
Light
And
Radiant.
LIfe,
Light,
Love.
Too simple.
Too profound.
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
~ If You Go Away ~ Barbra
Experience and time
Swallow up my people
All too soon.
Where do they go?
And how?
Not in my now are they,
For theirs continued, too -
Somewhere else,
Right now, alive in theirs
Though gone from mine,
Disappeared from view
Except, as this mere memory,
Seems to bring to life anew,
Alive and breathing, able to feel.
But, if so, it's away upon their shores.
Here on mine, never to surprise
With unexpected word or deed
So long as gone to theirs.
These thoughts cannot fulfill a need,
For I can experience the brand new real
Only in my ever-new eternal here and now.
I'm grateful for it, - aren't you, for yours?
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
~ Make It Easy On Yourself ~ Jamie Cullum & Burt Bacharach
I used to play Burt Bacharach's music on the piano frequently. Playing this one seemed to precede major changes and endings in my life. . . .
A tune,
A ride,
A leap
Into rarefied spheres.
It could not last,
Could it?
Should it?
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
~ Rainy Days and Mondays ~ Paul Williams & Roger Nichols
~ Here's That Rainy Day ~ Astrud Gilberto
I love the swishing sound
Of cars
On rain-glistened streets
And listening for
Another song of yours.
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
~ Free Again ~Jack Jones
Another peek inside your world
Is more than I can bear.
Being here, imperfect, yes.
But if I compare, ~
It's heaven here.
How glad I am
That I'm no longer there.
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
~ Richard Clayderman ~ Feelings
The progeny
Of life ~
Is ~
Life!
______© Nellieanna H. Hay
Thank you for your ending to it.
FEELINGS
We'lll surely never hear a more feeling rendition of the song, "Feelings" than this one by amazing Nina Simone. Hearing it all the way through, though admittedly a long and demanding video, is well worth it and not easy in a way. But at the end, she does something to the lyrics so unique - so Nina Simone: - she changes them with a passionate interpretation of her own, demonstrating a premise of this hub: that attitude affects and determines how events are experienced.
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Hello Dear Nellie Anna ~ I must say that this is an especially 'beautifully' constructed and presented Hubpages. I've never seen one quite like it. I turned on the first piece of music "once upon a time" as I scrolled down reading the poetry and commentary.
Each piece was purposefully placed on the page with some graphic elements and by the time I had reached down more than halfway, I listened to a bit of Harry and when I saw Barbra [my favorite] I put her on to sing right away to finish the page. Isn't she glorious?!
Well, here is my most favorite and happens to have been the opening lines, for this is truth:
Where light fills
All the space
There is no place
For shadows.
Love, Debby
P.S. I was attracted to read your Hub by the main illustration at the top of the page. Antique cards.
Dear Snakeslane, I'm smiling and hoping you have a generous-sized coffee pot. If you listen to the music, which enhances the thoughts iso much, it will take awhile. I hope you'll enjoy it - and I think you will. Thanks for stopping and being the first! Hugs.
Dear Debby, Thank you, ma'am. I enjoyed making it. Yes I agree that Babra's rendition of "If You Go Away" ("Ne Me Quitte pas") is especially delightful. She's always good. I saw her on one of her earliest TV appearances - when Johnny Carson hosted "The Tonight Show" - and she looked like such a waif, till she opened her mouth and began to sing! You possibly weren't born yet! :)
I appreciate your telling me what attracted you. Did you notice that the main illustration depicts the four seasons?
Dear Nellie,
I am listening to Nina Simone as I write this...She does get to the heart of the matter doesnt she?Your poetry always has such depth and wisdom.
I love these lines...
"It helps if we've learned to appreciate, trust and value the reality that is ours to invest, rather than to fight, deny and hide from it. There is no room for self-deception"
And when this finaly happens it is such a peaceful place..
Thank you Nellie for another beautiful hub.
Love,
Sunnie
Dear Nellie ~ I'm a grandma and have grown up in the age of "Barbra Streisand" and all of the performances, songs, movies, etc. and late night with Johnny Carson [only it was really late for me.]
Oh, yes, dear Sunnie! Nina Simone is phenomenal. She seems to peel off any layers of pretense or sham and, as you say, 'to get to the heart of the matter'. - Right to it! There is a kind of crystalline transparency to her demeanor and her message.
Sounds as though you have reached that peaceful place of recognizing and accepting life's reality. Why am I not surprised?
:-) Hugs and love back. . . And many thanks!
Lovely Nellieanna. I'm always transported away by your poetry, and find a moment of peace in your writing. You're a treasure...
The progeny
Of Feelings~
Is~
To experience without utopic expectation,
But without regret....
You're words of inspiration are very important also Nellieanna!;)
This hub is so exciting, unique and beautifully alive that I really don't know where to start my compliments!
I've bookmarked this as a favourite as I want to experience it again and again. There is nothing here that I dislike or that doesn't stimulate so many memories and feelings - perhaps more deeply than I would like. But that is part of being human.
Your poems are a delightful wonder - all of them! My favourite lines, although shorter than some, speak volumes to me at every level - "Where light fills all the space, there is no place for shadows."
Voted up beautiful + awesome!
Good morning, Miss Nellie!! Hope you're having a great weekend :)
I'll say two things first:
One, you're hubs should be required reading for any person freshly venturing onto this site "How Hubs Should be Done - 101"
Two, I've never "met" anyone so in tune with their inner self. It is truly a gift which I feel elevates your writing past others, due to the honesty that flows from heart to pen (keyboard).
I do agree with your premise that feelings, emotions, and memories are all the tapestry that forms our own particular reality. That tapestry is complex, but being woven of parts that are all necessary, if some of the components are missing, then the tapestry lies in tatters. Those that can face each feeling or memory (or regret) face-on and embrace them fulfill the richness of life and thus keep their tapestry intact (though certain threads of it may be a very unattractive gray). Staying honest within ourselves in combination with an outward expression of feelings can be extremely difficult. Complications like family members, sensitive spouses, and the ever-ready PCP (Politically Correct Police) all stand ready at the exit to strike down your inner expression as soon as it exits your mouth. So..the honesty might exist inside, but there it might be kept, for fear of injuring those around us. Therefore, it's still not complete honesty. Something hidden therefore becomes another object of guilt, to fester inside and becoming yet another regret. So, to fully cherish the honesty, one must either be a hermit living on the side of a mountain, or true feelings, particularly those that might rub up against someone else, must be be externalized.
I truly cherish the way you can capture the mood of a song and gently pluck your response to the music from the air, gently waving it to paper.
P.S. I particularly enjoyed the Bacharach/Cullum number. Burt is one of the true musical geniuses of our time.
:)TR
Listening now nellieanna, gives me time to make another pot of coffee, nice way to spend a rainy November morning, will add more as I go along here. Thank you so much! snakeslane
Well...this is intensely full of feeling nellieanna I am reeling and a little full of coffee too...it is definitely a one big pot or a two small potter concert. Thank you for sharing the feeling of your sweet words and the music, words and music so beautifully intertwined. Regards, snakeslane
I forgot to add, I do love your enjambements in this piece, the Mucha artwork so free on the page...free from the get-go!
Everything about this offering of yours, dear Nellieanna, speaks of beauty and perfection. Your text is insightful, your illustrations delightful, your poetry meaningful and each well-chosen video most pleasurable. Brava, again and again.
Streisand, BTW, is one of my all-time favorites. Her voice, range and emotion, even a capella, is awesome. Like you, m'luv.
Nellieanna, A thing of beauty is joy forever. It seems John Keats said this after he saw your hub. You are a school in yourself. Your hubs are perfect example of how the hubs should be published. I have always associated your name with elegance. This is a perfect example. The way you decorate your hubs is really beautiful. The poems are soulful and full of meaning. Thanks for sharing this beautiful hub.
With warm wishes,
MAKUSR
I like shadow works and I love to watch shadows. having said this I repeat your words:
Where light fills
All the space
There is no place
For shadows.
Your poems are beautiful. Your compositions always give me a sense of satisfaction.
Nellieanna...
My, my, my...each section of your offering here is at war with the other to determine which is the best part!
From the actual words on the page to their beautifully wrought display you have ensnared my feelings!
I love your notion (truthful) that a dammed river is no longer a living one and, in terms of musical selection...I believe 'Rainy days and Mondays' speak to me most.
Well...you speak to me most and in a voice that can only be termed, "the poet's voice."
Thank you for wonderfully classing up my morning!
Thomas
These are beautiful. I have to be careful with nostalgia, because I can become melancholy for what used to be.
I have to say this is probably the most beautiful Hub I've ever seen. Hope I don't hurt any feelings, it's just I've never seen one put together in this fashion. Your choice of videos along with your beautiful words is so wonderful. I can't figure out how in the world you did the scroll writing. I voted it UP, and awesome, etc.
Debby, Ah - I see! Thank you for updating me. You're still relatively a youngster, I'm thinking. My eldest grandchild is 35 and has a 16 and a 15 - year old of her own! She has 4 younger sisters (spaced about 6 years apart), with the two next eldest both mothers too. My son has 4 grandkids. So I'm a great-grandmother X 10. But who's counting, right? hehe.
I adore good music and good musicians. Barbara never disappoints! Such natural talent and grace! There is something wonderful about the way music traces our personal journeys and builds interlinks to others'. :-)
Augustine, what lovely compliments. Thank you for enjoying, and thank you for coming and reading! Your approval is greatly appreciated.
Bryan - I love that! Yes - so true. In fact, expectation often poisons the fullest enjoyment of what really occurs - plus can easily create regret, either for what it produces or what it fails to produce. Living free of such burdensome things exemplifies traits of the best progeny.
Seeker - I'm truly honored by your visit and lovely comments! I suspect that feelings and memories are both we humans' strengths and Achilles' heels. But one thing I'm convinced of is that they define being human even more than intelligence. Machines can be designed to think as well, but cannot be designed to feel at all.
I love brief lines which say whatever it is with no superfluous words, which is my poetic style, but seldom do they grace my prose. haha. Helps me identify which is which.
ThomasRydder, dear friend. That is such a gratifying compliment, and from someone whose opinion I value.
Perhaps it is a reward of years to learn who one really is and to be OK with it. There comes an inner calm - serenity. My mother used to say that a mother 'can't pad the corners for her children'. So true. No one can pad them but oneself, which comes with the inner calm & listening to those small, still voices which clarify the anomalies; and keeping in mind that others must pad their own corners, too.
You are so right - one must master the process of living within the larger 'self' -- of family and community, which quite often is less attuned to its own reality and in grappling and struggling with it, can attempt to encompass one into its personal fray.
To be caught up in it or to accept it as one's responsibility or to feel guilty for others' reactions over which one really has no control is an illusion. Even acquiescence helps them NOT. The honesty needed is simply that with oneself. YOU already understand this, Thomas. In your own words, "staying honest WITHIN ourselves". All our truth needn't be imposed on others. In fact that would be an exercise in futility. It requires no more justification than being secure and comfortable with one's breathing or heartbeat. It's just as intrinsic, unassuming and non-injurious in Its rightful authenticity as that. Nothing dishonest about keeping one's own counsel when wisdom calls for that. It's part of one's reality, in fact.
I totally agree that Bacharach is one of our time's musical geniuses. There was a musical challenge to me at one time. What it was - I couldn't seem to master his slightly syncopated rhythm. I'm really a bit klutzy playing the piano, in ways. Long story. Then one moment I felt it and there it was! It was such a revelation! And It seems so like Burt to mentor that fantastic young singer, who otherwise probably would just be rapping or something. Bacharach's music is such a showcase for his voice!
Snakeslane - My goodness - I'm delighted that you thought it worth a couple of pots of coffee and that much time! I'm vicariously enjoying visualizing you pondering, reeling and getting coffeed-up. haha I appreciate you. And I love that word you introduced to me, enjambements. tee hee. . . .
Isn't the Mucha art lovely? It's similar to Maxwewll Parrish's, isn't it? That art-deco look. . . .
DRBJ - Barbra just "has it". She opens her mouth and out comes real music! :-) As you say - she has the entire range covered.
Thank you for the lovely compliments on mine here. I always wonder if my hubs will sink, float or surf. When I push "publish now" it is with a sense of trepidation! So your approval helps immensely! I have a sense of from whence it comes. :-)Hugs.
Makusr, Ah - I love the Keats' quote. Wouldn't I be amazed if he used it to describe my hub!! What a lovely dream! Thank you.
I'm not sure I'd recommend that all hubs be alike, anyway. I enjoy seeing what others' ideas are! These are such great venues for expressing one's individuality! It's fun to do and fun to witness others'. Thank you so much!! Hugs.
hi nellianna, the emjambements (sp?) wasn't my word. It was introdiced by another reader on your "caberet" hub, but I took it and ran with it!
lololol
Viinaya - me too. As a kid, my favorite poem was Robert Louis Stevenson's "My Shadow". I knew it by heart and could recite it when I was 3 or 4.
And one thing I love about the Autumn is the effect it has on shadows, the way it transforms them into wispy horizontal giants.
Oh yes. There's a place for both the light and shadows. They are interrelated. Thank you!!
My Shadow
by Robert Louis Stevenson
I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.
The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow--
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,
And he sometimes goes so little that there's none of him at all.
He hasn't got a notion of how children ought to play,
And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.
He stays so close behind me, he's a coward you can see;
I'd think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me!
One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an arrant sleepy-head,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.
(of course, I substituted the feminine pronouns, 'she' and 'her' throughout. :-)
Really, Snakelane??? Ohmygosh. I was so sure it had come from you. I'd better go check my references! Obviously I can't always rely on my memory! haha - thanks for telling me!
Thomas, (dear ThoughtSandwiches) - what lovely comments! Thank you. To ensnare your feelings or attention is truly an honor and a feather in my headdress! I'm enthralled by the metaphor of a river flowing as life does. I've several poems about that and its related metaphors.
Rainy days are equally meaningful, aren't they? They can run the gamut from wonderfully cozy & intimate to dreadfully melancholy. But usually I think of the former, being here in drought-land where rain is scarce and such a treat and blessing when it arrives. To me, heaven must get ample rain and the grass is very green!
Hugs.
my comments are not getting through tonight I keep writing them over and over, it's frustrating, and then they post twice!, darn, but yes go back to that hub, you know the one?
we had that long conversation about the cabaret style presentation. The one with the Gary Cooper video of the cole porter song, can't remember the name of the hub or the cole porter song. but that one.
Mary - thank you. I appreciate that lovely compliment. I could explain it - but then I'd have to. . . :-) No, really, it's done as a graphic elsewhere, which I then upload onto here, as are the other graphics on my hubs, each made for that specific hub. Thank you for the visit and your generous votes and kind words!
Oh, my - my fault, snakeslane! Your comments did come through - I was off writing replies to some others and hadn't yet approved them so they'd appear on the page. Sorry! Yes - I remember that delightful discussion about the cabaret style. And others got into the swing of it, enjoying the new term, "cabaret poetry". I remember all that and the word enjambements (which I had to look up at the time). But I just had been thinking you introduced that word. I'll check on it. May take a few moments to locate it -- there are some hubs in the meantime! haha.
ok have a great evening ms nellieanna I am off to bed. Thanks for the lovely entertainment.
Well, Snakeslane - the hub with the discussion of 'cabaret poetry' is "Fascination With Facts and Facets" but I cannot locate the introduction of 'emjambements'. I tried a word or phrase search and in the 'advanced search' turned up other references to it in others' hubs and comments, but not in mine. When I'm more rested, maybe I'll find it. hehe. Sleep well, and thanks.
Tears flow along cheekbones
like the notes on ivory
gushing torrents of rainwater
empty catch basins in the sea.
sligobay
I read every word and listened to every note in the painful context of the loss of my brother, Michael.
"Is truth a hollow promise
And love, an empty shell
That I should let them go?
NO!" Thank you Nellieanna,for the breadth of your heart and your exceptional capacity to love. Hugs,Gerry
I completely understand that, Gerry. I think of the loss of far too many of my loved ones, too. And tears sometimes flow just thinking of the happy times shared with them, both specifically and in general. Hard to say which things bring more waterworks - the good times or the sense of loss. Those tears are the present NOW when they flow, in either case!
Thank you, dear Gerry. Hugs -
Brilliant!!
Every now and then I allow myself to ponder things as they were and remember what it was like. many bring back happy memories while a few a little pang of regret. But as you very well said they are "simply what those are: mere shadows, memories and dreams, not the real, living, changing present itself."
Thank you for such a treat. God bless you.
THANK YOU, sweet theseus - for one of the loveliest comments ever! Hugs.
As always Nellieanna, your beautiful words, allied with some very special songs, bring balance and peace into our lives.
Thank you.
Christopher, it's a real joy when you come by and take in my stuff. I truly appreciate it. When I'm selecting music, I always hope you'll approve. You have such exquisite taste.
Hello, Nellieanna, this is an exceptional beautiful selection and well arranged HubPages. Unfortunately, my hearing is gone bad and I can't hear any videos anymore. But I know these beautiful songs and musics. You are so brilliant.
Dear, dear Hello, hello. I'm sad t hear you aren't able to hear the videos, but if you can watch and remember the music, you're sharing some mutual memories! You can sing along! :-) Thank you for coming and leaving your valued comments! Hugs
Nellieanna, your amazing
Put your right hand on your left shoulder. Put your left hand on your right shoulder. Now squeez. That's a Hug from me.
Your work isso beautiful.
Thanks for the music and beauty.
Kada - if you know me, you know I love hugs! Thank you. And thank you for such lovely compilements. And I feel like we have met before online. Chatroom, maybe? Your name is familiar to me, yet I've never heard it except back then somewhere. Hugs!
Ditto, ditto, ditto - so much has already been said about this fine piece of creativity.
Nellieanna why you are not up there with the Keats, Dickens and 'Stevensons' of this world I will never know. You ARE one of the greats when it comes to putting pen to paper and creating that 'WOW' factor. I love reading your words, they seem to flow so easily on the page. I am in awe of your endless talent and deem to one day be just like you although I feel I have such a long way to go, yet! Catch you sooner (or perhaps later! lol)...Helena
Leni - Helena - I love your name. Helena Bonham Carter is one of my favorite actors. And Leni is a darling short-form! Love it.
Thank you for the huge vote of confidence expressed so wonderfully.
Those giants are -- giants! But if they were to have been all dissected, each is/was an individual just like you and me. Each did what he did best - which is exactly our challenge - to do what we each do best. There is no value in being like anyone else. My muse is Emily Dickinson and my stuff has been likened to hers but I had been writing it nearly 40 years before (and nearly 40 years since) I really found her and noticed how she wrote. Your uniqueness is fabulous! You have no way to go to reach yours. All you need i to just keep on expressing YOU!
Oh Nellieanna, this is absolutely fantastic! You just said all the words that are in my heart. But you said them so beautifully! And the music...oh, I know them all, Barbra is my favorite singer! When she sings people, I am simply transported to some imaginary world! The others, are also favorites, like Burt Bacharach...we used to sing all his songs! Gush...you really hit my nostalgic nerve! Now I can't stop but reminisce....
Thanks for this wonderful trip down memory lane!
Rated up and beautiful!!!
Your poetry is so sddictive, my love ;-)
I love your work Nellie. The words, the music, the art are all so fantastic . Your name will be in my profile as one of the persons I admire the most.
Jill, what lovely comments and compliments. Thank you! I am awed by your photography in the same way! I adore colors and your artistry with them is a delight. Hugs.
There's my beloved Dimitris! And what a nice thing to for you to say! Thank you! Hugs and smooches.
Kada - (I still feel I've known you online before!) I appreciate your lovely compliment and look forward to reading your hubs and profile! Hugs.
I hope you realise that 'sddictive' is how we spell 'addictive' in the Midlands ;-)))
hahaha - OK. I do know that my left-hand pinkie little finger is prone to hit the 'A's' next-door keyboard neighbor, ('S') on random and all too frequent occasions.
I didn't know about the Midlands spelling, but figured . . . ! Anyway, 'sddictive' has a rather sexy ring to it and you Midlanders are such notorious rascals! tee hehe.
Ooooooohhhhhhh..... the mind bogggles, you baaad girl ;-))))
I'll loan you my bogggle gogggles! Hugs.
Voted up and beautiful! I think you've inspired me to write a hub on the music that inspires me and brings back memories. Thanks so much. Just lovely!
Kitty - That's so great! I must check out your hub when you have it published! Thanks for visiting mine and leaving such a lovely comment! Hugs.
Hi, Nellieanna, this was one of the most beautiful I have read, every poem was outstanding too, and feeling tearful today, the anniversary of my friends passing, I have been on the verge of tears all day, and when I read your 'Experience and time
Swallow up my people
All too soon.
Where do they go'
it finally spilled me over, now I feel better, this was beautiful, amazing, and so much more, now I need a cup of tea, I feel so much better! thanks nell
Dear,dear Nelleanna,
Beautiful Lady Nelleanna, At first I was sure that you had lived a flawless unhampered life. But my eyes are not dry and I feel a very emotional path for you and for me. There is no knight in shinning armor massaging our shoulders while we write.
"To Fully Experience the Feeling" should be a book of it's own, meant " to arouse feelings & capture life's flow" . Wow! Girl, that's heavy, it did.
Kay
Dear Nell ~ that is dear. I know what you mean, when there are tears bottled up but don't quite come to the surface - then they do and it is such a wonderful relief. The cup of tea is perfect, too. Helps not get too lost in sadness, brings balance and comfort. Thank you for sharing this.
Kada - oh - how lovely of you, Kay! I've certainly enjoyed some good times but have had far, far from a flawless, unhampered life. I must admit I'm fairly dragon-free now and content to write and be, though the shoulders could benefit from that idyllic massage going on. But it's nice simply to contemplate and enjoy flowing scenic parts, too.
Nellie, Your writing IS Flawless.
Kay, awgeewillikers. That's such a lovely compliment. Thank you. You're way too kind to me and way too hard on yourself. We should talk.
You have nailed a topic that is so wonderful to read about and reflect upon. Particularly in the holiday season...so glad I found this! The holidays always bring me an extra dose of nostalgia for my own days gone by and also times gone by. As a lover of Victorian Literature, I try to find a book that writes of the holidays at that time in history. I am a big Renaissance Faire person as well....history and the past give me hope in the future, and while I do not dwell there, the memories of my childhood are "sweetly bittersweet" as you coined the phrase.
As always, you are a pleasure to read Nellieanna.
Aley, That's lovely. I think we surely share some philosophy. I certainly love Victorian literature - and other effects of the era, as well as some eras preceding it, as in the Renaissance.
I feel time almost as a continuum, so that I never feel lost in the past or future, though I am definitely alive and dwelling in the present. Humans have the amazing - and often undoing - ability to remember and to anticipate so that we can choose at times to do so with our present moments. Of course our personal past memories are varied, not all sweet or bitter, and many are mixed. I can't imagine being who I am without all of them!
I notice your mention of Joseph Campbell on your profile. I was given the tapes of his multi-part interview with Bill Moyers years ago. I need to locate them and hear them again. I was quite impressed at the time. Alan Watts has also influenced my personal philosophy.
Thank you for your comments which really speak to me, Aley. I'm still reeling from the poetry contest judging (almost 500 qualified entries). So many talented writers on here! It was a quite unique and educational experience for me! Thinking what I want to write about myself now that things are back to normal.
How did I miss this? I went to your profile and there is was, but I had not been notified.
Nellieanna, you are the mistress of all that you do.
This is splendid. I have read it and savoured it, and now I am going back to the beginning and I am going to wallow in the music.
And I don't know how, because have loved Nina Simone since I was nineteen (Just a very few short years ago) and I thought I had heard virtually everything she had recorded, but have never heard this offering
Finished! I am!
I am positively drained. Thank you, Nellieanna. A wonderful hub, beautifully created, and now I can't even read anything for a while, my eyes are all puffy and I am cried out.
Dear Ian - When I read your flowing work and see your magnificent artwork which so perfectly tells the story, too, I feel like such an awkward novice, even after all these many years of writing and dabbling in art. For you to admire my stuff is truly gratifying! Thank you madly! I've always realized that my best talent is coordinating elements, though; so perhaps that's the grace that saves me.
I love wallowing in this music, too. Each selection has meaning for me. I love Jack Jones' renditions, though I fell in love with "Once Upon A Tiime" sung by Bobby Darin back in 1971. He sang it for his beloved wife, and perhaps - with more feeling. BD wasn't my favorite singer; he was known for more jazzy songs, but when he sang with such tenderness, it was really effective.
You brought Nina Simone into my life at this late stage of it, and I am eternally grateful. When I found this version of "Feelinigs", I was melted. Her realness is simply haunting. I knew you'd appreciate it too. Whenever I listen to it, I am also drained. (I'm listening to it now).
My first awareness of "Feelings" has indelible memories, too. - It was in the early 80s, in Cuidad Acuña, Mexico, at Blondie Calderone's place, where my first (puppy) love (many years later) took George and me to hear Blondie play the piano when we visited him and his wife in Del Rio. He gave us a vinyl recording of Blondie playing it, as well, which I still have and treasure.
When I put together my most recent hub, "Ships That Pass", I wasn't thinking about how similar the whole tone of it is to this hub, which I sneaked in when I was supposed to be reading all the poetry! Possibly the other one I have brewing will be a bit along the same feelings. . . Perhaps I'm getting to that stage in my poetry stash!
:-)
Thank you, dear, dear Ian. You've brightened my otherwise overcast day.
Thank you for your most elegant reply to my comment, Nellieanna. And thank you also for sorting out my typographical errors and inconsistencies in Dulcie’s story. I am sure that she would have been most grateful that you have taken me under that protective wing and lead me into your amazing artistic world so gently.
Dulcie always manipulated me so cleverly and I was completely unaware of the way she was gently nudging me and leading me to give of my nest.
I am sure that I can hear her voice at the back of my mind saying that she would have loved to have introduced you to Marie and that Marie would have approved if we had turned up at ‘Primates’ together,
Both Marie and Dulcie were very protective of me and made it their business to guide me and to Make sure I didn’t fall into bad company (although I frequently slipped the leash, and went my wicked way, in that direction, if only temporarily).
Both ladies tended to be somewhat jealous of my new acquaintances until they had vetted them and made sure they were bona fide.
But I am pretty sure you have passed muster.
Hugs,
Ian
I would be honored by Dulcie's and Marie's approval and would only want and value it, knowing they truly care for you down to every small detail! So if vetting is required to be admitted to "Primates", then bring it on! I'm fearless! I would never want to be allowed on a mere "pretty sure" I've passed muster. I insist on the full review!
Hugs. . . .
You're in!
Sign here, please.
Sign here X - Nellieanna Holdeman Hay
Ha ha ha!
I have mentioned you "in despatches" in a comment on Ben Writing's latest hub.
Hugs
So I see! Wow. What an accolade! You're too kind! He is something, isn't he? Hard to believe it all comes forth from one so young, though I admit I wish it were less gloomy. But he does gloomy really well! :-)
Nellieanna,
I feel like rushing to you in Dallas, and crying "Sanctuary! Sanctuary!" this evening.
Babar put me onto a site where I can watch movies for nothing (legally). They are good quality and I can do it right here where I live (in front of the computer) but for some reason, I have not been able to view a single one this evening. It tells me that I need Real Player (which I have), and has been so infuriating. I have been fiddling around for about four (4) hours, to no avail.
I watched 'Tangled’ last night and loved it every bit as much when I watched it in the cinema. But tonight???
Grumble! Grumble! Grumble!
Sanctuary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs,
Ian
OH, HEAVENS! That IS infuriating! I'm sure you've tried the first step, rebooting. Sometimes leaving it off a bit. . .
Last night my UVerse remote took a notion to ignore all my clicks and desires. I got so disgusted I just went to the actual TV and shut it OFF and went to bed. This morning it was as sweet as can be, as if nothing had happened. As for my laptop, it's always persnickety. It hops off the page I'm trying to do or switches from or to editing mode without any reason. I just patiently go get it back. I've learned it's a further waste of time to fuss with it.
I've watched movies on the computer but confess it's not my favorite way. Too bad you can't hook it up so you can view on your TV screen?
I'm not familiar with "Tangled". Sounds intriguing. Yesterday I was in an Elizabeth Taylor-Richard Burton mood and watched "The Sandpiper", "The VIPs" and "The Comedians" again. I got more out of the last two than when I first watched them in the DVD collection I had to buy to get "The Sandpiper". I didn't watch "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolff" in the collection again, though. That will take some courage. I can think of several of her or their films I'd have preferred. Ah, well. At least I enjoy the others.
As for sanctuary - all I can offer is my two newest hubs. I just published "Misty Mystical Memories" and published "Ships That Pass" Sunday. From this distance, it's the best I can do. . . :-) Of course - looking at the clock, I see that it's after midnight there. Here it's about time for me to have my supper. I was so chilly that I had a hot toddy awhile ago - the excuse being a little snuffle. Not a real one, but good for an excuse. hehe Woo - Hoo! - all mellow and warm!
By the way - I have a guest room if you rush over here! :-[)
I'm packing my bags as we speak.
'Tangled is an animated film about Rapunzel, Nelleanna, and I know you would love it. It is completely charming.
I just gave up trying to watch anything new and read 'The Potter' for a while until my eyes grew blurry. So if I have made some mistakes, please forgive me. It is 2:40 and I am off to bed.
I must finish 'The Potter', it's not had any work gone on it for weeks and there are over 30,000 words which I think deserve to have a few more tacked on.
Bed time,
Hugs,
Ian
Be sure to give me your flight schedule so that I can make sure to have figured out another place for the 29 bathroom throw rugs I washed weeks ago and have left neatly folded on the guest bed. :=) I think I can find a place on a closet shelf now just full of disorganized stuff.
Ah. Well I love Rapunzel but am not overly excited about animated films. But then, I haven't watched many of the newer ones. I gather that it's difficult to tell which characters are animated and which are REALLY animated. So if you say it's charming, it must be!
I was thinking of getting to bed really early, and got all the before-bed chores out of the way. Then I had a burst of wakedness and here I am, thinking about doing some background stuff. I try to keep up with which poems I've used on which hubs, (there are 89 poetry hubs published here now). - So I've a rather complicated system involving several charts and updates, with printouts, so I know what I'm doing, more or less. I'd been letting it languish, along with other stuff, while the contest was going on and I wanted to keep up with my people, more than organization. People always take priority over tooly stuff, of course.
Yes, you must finish "The Potter". Definitely!
Big hugs - Nellieanna
Good morning, NellieAnna, from this end.
I am so cold. I am just going to turn on the central heating, so I hope your spare bedroom has an efficient radiator or two, or else I will just construct an enormous cocoon out of the bathroom throw rugs/mats and hibernate until you can tell me it's safe to come out.
Be warned, I am a traditionalist, and when I make a cocoon, I do it the way I and my tribe have always done it. I chew up all the cotton, wool and bark, and then apply the chewed gunk from the inside, letting it dry as I do it.
I draw the line at manmade fabrics - Ouch! (Karen from Will and Grace when she touched some man made fabrics in a clothing store). So if you have anything precious, leave them out of the guest room.
You will be reassured, however, when I tell you that I scrub my teeth before I chew up the stuff to make my cocoon, so it will smell remarkably like Colgate.
I thought you might be clairvoyant. Now I'm sure. How else would you know that I prefer and use Colgate?
I keep my thermostat in the cold weather at 70F, which is not hot. In this open-area house, the chill effect feels lower. I keep it at 78F in the summer, (with about an 89 heat effect), which is pretty warm when it's 100 or so outside, except by contrast the moment one walks in from outside.
I bundle up (almost in a cocoon) in the winter and strip down in the summer. Im in my sweats and warm socks with New Balance walking shoes but haven't gotten into my Cuddl-Duds and fur-lined Aussie boots for indoor wear yet. I could but then where would I go when it's really cold? There was a hard freeze last night but is to warm to about 46F today & is as clear as can be. Yesterday it didn't get out of the 30s, though the sun finally peeked through.
But I did don some Cuddl-Duds under my jammies last night, plus fuzzy socks. That was my sleeping attire under a cotton sheet, a cotton quilt, a huge (Queen-size) faux down comforter (in a cotton cover) and a real down comforter (also Queen-size & in cotton cover). I'm not keen on manmade fabrics myself. I can identify them but haven't tried the chewing test! I guarantee you'll find plenty of natural fibers in my house, with the possible exception of bark. I wouldn't advise chewing any parts of the house-plants. One never knows if they may be toxic.
But, yes. I will remove any cashmere, fine lambswool, Irish linen, or Egyptian cotton from the guest room prior to your advent. In fact, those bath mats represent considerable effort in drawn-out washing and drying for days. I'm none too sure I want them chewed up! I think I'll be sure you don't have to chew them. Maybe teach you how to make an effective cocoon out of the covers!
Here's my technique: I sleep on my back and wrap the covers around me like a cocoon. I place a down pillow over the feet area of the bed.
But I miss my cat Camille, who loved to sleep on my feet - under the covers. It was a habit she picked up when she and Toulouse were young and we took them on a real camping trip in a tent. When the thunder started, she dove into my sleeping bag and went as far down in it as possible. Thereafter, it was her favorite place to sleep: under the covers and on my feet; - and suited my feet well, too. I never knew how she managed to breathe down there, though! That same night of camping, when the thunder started, Toulouse managed to unzip the tent and dashed out into the storm. Silly boy. She always was the practical one. But he was the most fun. Except that night as we searched in the storm with flashlights for him among the pine trees and hoped he didn't head into the lake by mistake!
Anyway, last night, by the time my feet felt fairly warm, I was fine for the night. I find myself trying to retire to bed earlier & earlier as cold weather descends, in fact! When I was sleeping here in the den on the couch, I really developed the cover-cocoon technique. In fact, at the ranch, I made sleeping-bag-like covers out of comforters, first for sleeping in the RV, then for sleeping on cots. We hadn't built-in our furniture in the cabin, you see. So it was a matter of getting out cots every night and putting them away every morning; the space being very limited in the little cabin we built.
My heating system here is central, but the vents are all quite old and rusty. There's just the one in the guest room, but it's at the floorboard level and its ductwork in the floor/wall is located almost above the actual furnace downstairs. It can get so toasty in there, in fact, that I usually leave that vent closed. The vent in the office next to it is similarly located but the bathroom and master bedroom vents are high up and not nearly as effective. But there are two double heat lamps in the bathroom, which I turn on when showering. Plus I make sure the water is well heated before stepping into either shower. (one is a shower-tub, the other is a huge walk-in shower, which I prefer.)
I'd lend you one of my down comforters for the guest bed, plus there are numerous all-cotton quilts and comforters. My mother, being from the "frozen north" as she called it, always had ample covers and so do I . So maybe you won't find it necessary to spin your own cocoon.
Anyway, we do things a little differently over here. I was amazed during our stay in Essex that the bed linens weren't 'tucked under" the mattress at all, but were merely lying on top. It was mid-April to mid-May and I thought it was always rather chilly! Anyway, I do the tuck-in under the mattress at the bottom with the envelope corners, so the covers STAY in place, plus,once ensconced under the covers, I pull up the dangling side next to me & tuck it under my bod to create the cocoon effect. No floor air seeps in to let the body heat escape!
Duh. Please explain "Karen from Will and Grace" to me. I feel I'm probably supposed to know - but my mind is a blank.
Gosh, I feel as if I have stayed with you for a couple of weeks already. There are so many differences, when we come to look at them, aren't there?
I've just been to the cinema to see a Bollywood film, 'Desi Boys' (Desi means "typically SubContinental) and enjoyed myself during the second part. The first half was a bit tedious, but the second was much better. I love Bollywood, there is always an "Intermission" in their films; they are usually so long.
It is the first time I have been to the cinema since they gave me crutches so that I could get around. The walking stick was making me stoop so badly, and I moved so slowly, that I felt really embarrassed to be seen walking along slowly. The crutches helped enormously, and when I get used to them, I’ll be whizzing along at great speed, but right now I get a little tired.
I have to sit in the front row of the main seating section, as I cannot manage the stairs. I don’t mean right under the screen, but far enough back so that I get a decent view, but there are two steps to that front row, and Thank God, Babar was there to make sure I didn’t go base over apex. He really is very caring and doesn’t seem to mind that he is seen helping an old Fart. Ha ha ha!
Karen? Will and Grace?
Karen was a rich lady, one of the characters in the American comedy series, 'Will and Grace'. I wouldn't (or couldn’t) even attempt to explain. It was very, very funny.
There are bound to be differences along with likenesses. So? We both understand that basic reality, methinks.
It must be lovely to feel really comfortable with Bollywood films. I am in awe of them but can't quite relate in the way I feel sure you can, having lived there and been such a child of the land, actually. I'm quite pleased to be able to see somewhat through your eyes and heart.
I'm also pleased about your crutches. I may or may not have mentioned that Norm (Val's husband) is in the process of getting some sort of ambulatory aid, either a walker or a wheelchair. He's become quite stooped (part of it is habit, I think) so that walking upright is an impossibility. The advisors are in favor of the walker to help him stand more upright, and secondly - because the chair seems to be a final, no-return choice. People seldom emerge from it, once adopted. Now I see that and how it will help them both be more independent. Having to manage him with a chair would really take a toll on her, too. The walker would give him more choice where he wants to go, too.
When I was seven and had a shattered right leg in a cast - I had crutches. As you say - one can really zip along with them!
Oh, my. Seems like all the seats in modern movie theaters are too close to the screen! But it's not that easy to access the top ones. I'm always so blind, coming from bright light into the relative darkness that I can't see a thing while trying to ascend. Once I slipped and spilled my popcorn all over the aisle seat viewers! haha. Was with stepgrandkids, though, who assisted me. Babar does sound like a gem. He ought to be proud to be helping a literary genius!
Well. so much for me and Karen, Will and Grace. I've no idea where to pursue them. I'll have to take your word that they're very, very funny; so perhaps I'll just rest this evening in preparation for my rescheduled orthodontal appt. @ 9:45 AM tomorrow. Not knowing the route well, I'll need to start out with plenty of 'wiggle room', timewise. I've readied my veggies to cook (and have eaten my salad-on-the-hoof) and have the meat cooked which I made in order to have extra night before last. So I'll start the stove and then the microwave and have supper in no time. I'll think about Karen, Will and Grace another time.
I had been sitting here bundled up but had what feels a lot like a hot-flash (though it's surely chronologically impossible) and have thrown off the afghan and shawl and am still overly warm in my sweats.
I was out and about this afternoon and it was very chilly. I had to get my earmuffs and warm gloves, which I didn't think needed, as bright and sunny as it was. Big high pressure cell - means clear and VERY cold. Then Friday there is to be another cold 'front' with clouds, wind and possible precip. Ah, the joys of weather!
I have a theory that super-hot summers as we have thin the blood so we feel the cold more. Also, the reverse. Super cold winters thicken the blood so one feels the heat more. My stepson in Colorado can't bear much heat and goes out in very cold weather comfortably. It's already very very cold there. Well below zero F - which is much colder than below zero where zero C is the freezing point.
They say that in the UK we don't have a climate... just weather. From your description, it looks as if your corner of Texas might fall into that mould also.
I have started picking around with 'The Potter' and changed a couple of words here and there, but am really quite happy with what I find. It is a long time since I did anything about writing it, so I wonder what I find when I get to some of the newer stuff.
I know it isn't Bollywood, it's an Indian "Art Film", but if you ever want to get a feeling of the India I knew vaguely as a child, the India around Independence, a wonderful film I can highly recommend, is 'Earth 1947'. Lovely acting - Aamir Khan being one of them. It is funny, it is charming, it is beautiful and it is harrowingly sad, but I think it is one of the best of its kind.
That is an apt description of our weather - not clime, just weather. haha. But the entire state of Texas has weird weather, though not all identical.
I know "The Potter" is and will be delicious. I love its tone.
I'll keep "Earth 1947" in mind! Thank you.
Hugs, m'dear. . .
Nellieanna, it feels good to be back. The immense reading of poetry the past month and aiding with the judging kept me busy and away from some of my favorite writers. On top of that a few personal matters threw a kink into my inspiration and desire to scribe.
I have shaken it off and am here to pick up where I left off. I see you have added 3 new hubs since my absence. Of course nostalgia is part of all our lives, you my dear share with beauty in every word as always and to compliment your feelings with these choice videos was simply brilliant.
I to have had many moments in my past life, some very remorseful, some very happy experiences. Through it all I sifted through life, found many fine loves, kept my faith in humanity and hung on to some great friendships, yet like you an many I have also suffered loss. I know though when it's my time to crossover I will meet them again. I am confident in that. Merry Christmas and a healthy and happy New Year 2012. Now on to read your next two beautiful additions. Hugs
Well, I see you are not lonely.
Some people pound the drums, 'they must be heard'. You achieve a sweeping sound on the percussion instrument of the page. The splash of water thrown by passing tires. Blinds drawn closed. A melody brought to your page. Framed, displayed in elegance.
Oh, my, Ken! I'm devastated ! I really thought I'd replied to this sweet message from you.How could I have failed to post my response to your comment? Oh, dear. Forgive me, please. I remember reading it and appreciating that we have shared some of the same type experiences in our lives and that we've both emerged intact and more fully who we are. Yes, I also feel confident in being reunited with those I've lost in one way or another. I also often feel 'in touch' with them even now.
Merry Christmas and a Happy 2012 to you, too, m'dear! Thank you and a big ole Texas hug!
Mike, ah - you touch my heart with those thoughts. I once wrote a lengthy poem about the difference in the sound I emit, which in the poem I likened to a harp - in contrast to some others', which I likened to horns, though the gist of the poem wasn't really about the sounds so much as the contrasting resonances and how they do or do not relate.
Right, I am by myself (since my beloved George died 3 years ago) but not lonely. I've been virtually alone many times in my life, but lonely rarely; and I don't think I know what it is to be bored. Occasionally I'm briefly aware of monotony, but I either stir it up or chalk those things up to "tiresome details of living" as my mother called routine chores, and then just get them done and back to more interesting things, as she always did. haha.
Thank you for always providing such a flattering "straight mirror" for me! You're quite perceptive and then you 'pretty it up' so becomingly! :-) Hugs.
This is stunning! You have managed to pen my own feelings better than I ever could. I treasure this hub and I treasure you Nelliana. Thank you for the marvelous videos. "The very thought of you" is one of my all time favorites. I managed to shed a tear or two reading and sharing your surfaced feelings.
You are magical! There is no one like you. Sending you love and a big hug.
vocalcoach~
vocalcoach - Thank you, and I mean that with all my heart. I read your profile and appreciate your position, which gives such depth to your awareness and sensitivity. Hugs!
snakeslane Level 7 Commenter 6 months ago
Wow nellieanna, this looks exciting. I am saving for tomorrow morning with coffee. Regards, snakeslane